Registry info is a no go

Q  We are about to send wedding invitations. Do we include registry information with the invitations?

A  No, because you would be asking for a gift for yourselves or, if the parents are issuing the invitations, for their child or children, and you never ask for gifts for yourself. Even though a wedding gift is expected in response to an invitation to a wedding, and even though knowing what the bride and groom might like as a gift is helpful, you don’t do this. It’s okay to include registry information in a bridal shower invitation, just not with the invitation to the wedding itself. Instead, let your attendants and parents know where you are registered so if anyone asks them, they can share the information. It’s also fine for you to tell anyone who asks you where you are registered.

Q  I would very much like to find a new job, but I work full time now. How do I handle my search at the same time as I am working so I don’t use my current employer’s time to do this?

A  There are a few things you can do. Provide a cell phone number, not your current office number, as your phone contact. Check it at lunch and return any calls then, not when you are “on the clock” at work. Never use your current employer’s letterhead or email for communicating — always use your own stationery and provide your personal email, instead. If you have an interview, take personal time or even use a vacation day, don’t try to sneak away when you are being paid to work at your current job. And, of course, pay for your own postage if you are sending out letters and resumes by snail mail.

Q  I fly frequently and never know what to do when I’m in the middle or window seat and have to get up, either to visit the bathroom or just stretch my legs, when either of my two so-called seatmates are sleeping. It’s impossible to climb over them. Do I wake them up?

A  Yes, because it is impossible to climb over them without ending up in their laps, especially if the seats in front of you are reclined. Just say, “excuse me, can you please let me out?” The number one thing not to do is grab the back of the seat in front of you to hoist yourself up. It’s jarring to the person sitting in it. Push up from the arm rests. Once in the aisle, use the overhead bins to help you keep your balance, not seat backs.Also, unless you are experiencing an emergency, plan ahead. Don’t get up when the flight crew is pushing carts in the aisle because you won’t be able to get past, and wait until trays have been collected because your seat mates can’t fold up their seat trays, grab their meal trays, and try to hold them while also trying to stand up.

Questions for Catherine? Send them to [email protected]

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