I\u2019ve spent my life trying to make women happy, from my mother to my wife to my four daughters to my dog. But I don\u2019t think I was very successful. Sometimes I felt like Sisyphus, always pushing that boulder up the hill only to have it come crashing back down on me. O tempora, o mores! Cicero said that or perhaps it was Homer \u2026 Homer Simpson. Maybe I tried too hard. Maybe I didn\u2019t try hard enough or maybe I was simply cursed, like Sigmund Freud before me, to not understand what women want. Mom, wherever you are, I\u2019ll say some extra prayers. As for my daughters, their husbands can take over now. And I think the dog may come around if I give her a few extra treats. That leaves my wife, whose case requires cautious examination in light of recent studies on marital bliss. Researchers at Rutgers University and the University of Michigan found that when a wife is happy in a long-term marriage, so is her husband \u2014 even if he isn\u2019t prone to be happy. The study examined couples married an average of 39 years, and while there aren\u2019t too many of them around, they managed to find 394 with at least one spouse older than 60. After analyzing data about health and disability, they determined that the quality of a marriage and happiness in older adults were related. Rutgers professor Deborah Carr said, \u201cWhen a wife is satisfied with the marriage, she tends to do a lot more for her husband.\u201d (I have to write that quote down.) She concluded, \u201cThe association between a husband\u2019s marital quality and life satisfaction is buoyed when his wife also reports a happy marriage, yet flattened when his wife reports low marital quality.\u201d I could have told you that, and my only qualification is a wedding ring, not a Ph.D. Other studies suggest that a happy marriage can cut the risk of cardiovascular disease, which would save billions in health-care costs, when you consider heart disease is the number one killer in America. I\u2019m convinced that gifts and flowers won\u2019t ensure happiness. Yard work and home improvement projects help, but I hate leaf blowers and lawn mowers. I suppose I can clean off my nightstand as a goodwill gesture, but that pile of books near my bed gives me a sense of security in an uncertain and troubled world. All too often, husbands don\u2019t care enough about making their wives happy. If they did, they\u2019d contribute more to the household, they\u2019d volunteer to see every Nicholas Sparks movie (there are several thousand), they\u2019d cook dinner occasionally and do the dishes rather than leaving them in the sink, and they\u2019d go to ceramics and\/or yoga class instead of watching Monday Night Football. So, men of America, lend me your ears. (Shakespeare said that \u2026 or maybe it was Lady Gaga.) Science proves that we have to work harder to make our womenfolk happy so that we can be happy, too. Up until now, most of us concentrated solely on making ourselves happy, and that\u2019s counterproductive, because unhappy women lead to unhappy societies. Throughout history, ever since God invented guys, male insensitivity has tarnished civilization. It started when Adam tried to blame Eve for eating that apple. Unfortunately, this predicament has reached crisis proportions. Do you realize that women are increasingly turning to dogs for companionship? Have you seen those best sellers with titles like Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog and You Had Me at Woof and Bark If You Love Me? I\u2019m convinced if God had to do it all over again, he\u2019d create woman and then he\u2019d create her faithful and loyal companion \u2014 dog. Lastly, he\u2019d create man as a servant for dog and give him a pooper scooper. Guys, a small investment will pay off. Women don\u2019t demand much, so let\u2019s try to give a little and we\u2019ll get a lot in return. Science says so. Plus, you\u2019ll be a better man, and the results will be obvious in your next EKG. Joe Pisani may be reached at email@example.com.