When I was growing up in the backwoods of Pine Rock Park in the era before Twitter, Instagram and the electric light bulb \u2014 well, maybe a little after that \u2014 we savored the simple pleasures in life. We didn\u2019t have video games and reality TV to entertain us, so we occupied ourselves with pastimes like trout fishing, stick ball, catching bull frogs and \u2014 my favorite \u2014 skinny dipping in the Far Mill River in places like \u201cThe Big Pool\u201d and \u201cSuckers\u2019 Hole.\u201d I should confess that my skinny dipping experiences were few but memorable, probably because the Far Mill River can be rather cold even on a summer\u2019s day, which meant that swimming, nude or otherwise, was comparable to crossing the Alaskan tundra in your Fruit of the Loom tighty-whities. Recently, I was reminded of those experiences when I read that hundreds of people on Long Island \u2014 that magical place on the other side of the Sound \u2014 are protesting a ban on nude bathing at Lighthouse Beach on Fire Island. They\u2019re pretty worked up over there and they\u2019ve been disrobing and running around buck naked in direct violation of law enforcement officials. As far as I can tell, Gandhi never practiced civil disobedience like this. The ban, I suspect, was instituted to protect tourists and little children from traumatizing experiences that could haunt them the rest of their lives. A recent report by the Natural Park Service said things have degenerated at the beach and there\u2019s been an outbreak of \u201clewd, lascivious and voyeuristic behavior, as well as an increase in suspected prostitution, drug use and assaults.\u201d I guess walking around naked drives people to insane behavior. On Fire Island, the \u201cnaturists,\u201d which is what they call themselves, prance around like woodland nymphs and frolic in the surf, and the U.S. rangers are struggling to get the situation under control. Nothing generates an outcry of public support more than freedom fighters who are buck naked. It\u2019s one of our constitutionally guaranteed rights, along with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not being a legal authority, I can never understand whether it\u2019s against the law or not to take off your clothes. One of the imponderables is that topless women are protected by state law in New York and, in a recent highly publicized demonstration of her rights, Bruce Willis\u2019s daughter was photographed running around with nothing covering her assets while she was shopping for fruits and vegetables in lower Manhattan. Apparently, this was a protest over Instagram\u2019s policy of not allowing naked photos. And if you haven\u2019t been to Times Square lately, think twice before you go because you\u2019ll find hordes of \u201cstreet performers,\u201d some topless, along with the Naked Cowboy and creepy cartoon characters like Spider Man and Elmo trying to shake down tourists. In Pine Rock Park, we were a bit more modest and, once we got done skinny dipping, we put our clothes back on and didn\u2019t rampage through the woods like characters in Lord of the Flies. You see, for all our homespun simplicity we recognized that clothing is one of the greatest advancements of Western Civilization, second only to Facebook. However, the naked movement seems to be gaining momentum. USA Today regularly runs pieces like \u201cBare It All on the Best Nude Cruises,\u201d in addition to stories about the best nude resorts, Caribbean hot spots and travel tips for butt naked vacationers, including my favorites like \u201cDon\u2019t be a shutterbug,\u201d \u201cAlways carry a towel,\u201d and \u201cHave a Plan B.\u201d The shutterbug rule should be assiduously followed. You see, the photos in magazines might make fun-loving naturists look like Victoria\u2019s Secret models and Chippendales, but the reality is a little more sobering and eye-opening. I don\u2019t know if anyone goes skinny dipping in the Far Mill River nowadays. They\u2019ve probably moved on to bigger and better things in the Caribbean or the South Shore. But if USA Today is doing a story about the \u201cBest Swimming Holes to Dive in Nude,\u201d they should start with Suckers Hole. Joe Pisani may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.