One need only look at the bizarre laws still on Connecticut\u2019s books to question the sanity of elected officials. For instance, a pickle cannot officially be recognized as a pickle unless it can bounce. We aren\u2019t legally allowed to dispose of our used razor blades (the state would appreciate it if those of you who\u2019ve been doing so would turn yourselves in). It\u2019s illegal to display colored Christmas lights in Guilford. In Hartford, it\u2019s against the law for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday, and no citizen can attempt to educate a dog. Those in New Britain might be interested to know their fire trucks aren\u2019t allowed to go over 25 miles per hour when responding to a fire. Business-savvy scout The unexpected consequences of legislation can be even more amusing. Last week, Danielle Lei and her mother started selling Girl Scout cookies outside a San Francisco medical marijuana dispensary. In the \u201cLeast Surprising News Ever,\u201d they sold out of their 117 boxes in only 45 minutes before going back the next day. Here I was thinking that business-savvy scouts had their parents hit up co-workers to boost sales, but this is brilliant. This girl managed to make a (thin) mint outside a pot store \u2014 where, ironically, they actually sell a brand of weed called \u201cGirl Scout Cookies.\u201d Allegations and controversy This must have really upset Arizonans already unhappy with recent allegations of a tenuous relationship between the Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood. Despite the official announcements from the Girls Scouts (\u201cNo, Girl Scouts of the USA does not have a relationship or partnership with Planned Parenthood\u201d), the denizens of the Grand Canyon State keep seeing ghosts. This isn\u2019t surprising, considering the Arizona legislature is currently trying to revive the ghosts of its pre-civil rights era. It passed a controversial bill that allows business owners to deny service to gay and lesbian customers, \u201cas long as (business owners) assert their religious beliefs.\u201d After all, nothing screams \u201cI love freedom of religion!\u201d more than denying services based on a person\u2019s beliefs. Corporal punishment in Kansas Clearly, some of these Girl Scouts are in need of a spanking \u2014 and if they happen to be in Kansas, we\u2019re in luck! A bill introduced last week would let school officials hit children hard enough to leave redness or bruising. Kansas state Rep. Gail Finney, a Democrat from Wichita, introduced the bill to further define corporal punishment because, she says, \u201csome children are very defiant and they\u2019re not minding their parents. They\u2019re not minding school personnel.\u201d Although intended to provide more leeway for parents, Kansas is one of 20 states that still allows corporal punishment in school. The proposed law would allow for both the restraint of the child and \u201cup to 10 forceful applications in succession of a bare, open-hand palm against the clothed buttocks of a child.\u201d The bill allows that this might result in \u201credness or bruising \u2026 on the tender skin of a child.\u201d However, the bill \u201cwould continue to ban hitting a child with fists, in the head or body or with a belt or switch.\u201d (Presumably, you also couldn\u2019t push children in front of moving trains either, but I haven\u2019t read the whole thing yet.) What\u2019s the age limit again? Most outrageous of all, the bill would let parents give school personnel permission to even spank students over 18 if they\u2019re still enrolled in school. Let that sink in for a moment. When your first responsibility upon seeing a principal giving a spanking to an 18-year-old in a Girl Scout uniform bent over his knee is determining whether more than 10 forceful applications are being applied, you might be time to reconsider your elected representation. After reviewing this week\u2019s absurd attempts at legislation, mandating that pickles must bounce isn\u2019t as ridiculous as I once thought. You can read more at RobertFWalsh.net and contact him at rob@RobertFWalsh.net or follow him on Twitter @RobertFWalsh.