I love my husband. Mark and I have been married for almost 29 years. (When did that happen?) Mark has a goofy, dry sense of humor. He has a smile that melts my heart from across a room. And he loved me unconditionally, making me feel beautiful when I was 350 pounds. What\u2019s not to love? Statistically, the length of our marriage is in the minority. People \u201cfall out of love\u201d all the time. They fall in love with other things, other people. Weight loss is a great analogy to marriage. I compare them frequently. Think about it \u2026 We enter a new relationship with food. We start to love the new way we\u2019re eating, the new shape our bodies are taking. We enjoy the compliments and dream of a future that is healthy and trim. It\u2019s a match made in heaven. But in time we find that this new relationship is holding us back. We\u2019ve lost our spontaneity. What was once excitement has become day-to-day drudgery. This is not what we signed up for! It\u2019s just not worth it. Then comes the awful moment \u2026 we cheat! The relationship is broken. Old loves re-enter our life once again and make us feel good for a while. We don\u2019t love this new relationship with food as much as we thought we did. It\u2019s just not working! Let\u2019s get one thing out on the table right now. If I were to tell you that every day I feel love for my husband, I\u2019d be lying. There are times my feelings toward him are really the opposite of love. We must remember that feeling love and acting in love are two different things. In the Bible, when God says, \u201cHusbands love your wives and wives love your husbands,\u201d he is not talking here about feelings at all. We will never continually feel love, and God knows that. Love is an action word, not a feeling. It\u2019s a command to act lovingly, despite what the feelings are in the moment. So, what is acting in love? It\u2019s unwavering commitment to the good of the other person. It\u2019s kindness, not holding past wrongs against someone. Doing love is putting their needs before yours. The amazing thing is, if you act in love, the feeling of love will follow. For me, it worked. Even though all our problems at the time were Mark\u2019s fault (ha!), I took it upon myself to work on me. I acted in love even when I felt the opposite. And guess what? The more I worked on me, the better our marriage got. (What does that tell you?) Anyway, this column really isn\u2019t about marriage, it\u2019s about weight loss. This program you are on right now will not always feel exciting or rewarding. There will be days you hate it and others where it\u2019s mildly tolerable. It doesn\u2019t matter. You don\u2019t have to always be into it, you just have to do it. Pre-plan. Prepare. Follow through. Day after day. Motivation is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn\u2019t burn calories or build muscle \u2014 it just makes actions easier to do. It\u2019s the actions that are important, not the feeling. Act in love \u2014 toward your program, toward yourself. That\u2019s how I got to goal. That\u2019s how you will, too. Kim Bensen, author of \u201cFinally Thin,\u201d was a lifetime yo-yo dieter who lost 200-plus pounds and has kept it off. She owns the Kim Bensen Weight Loss Center and Kim\u2019s Light Caf\u00e9 on Bridgeport Avenue in Shelton. Details, tips and recipes: kimbensen.com.